To My Former Friend

To my former friend....

We were friends as kids. A long time ago, we spent time together. We had fun, we bonded, and we swore that no matter what, we'd always be friends.

Now, you're sending me messages asking me why I've unfriended you on Facebook. You're asking me why I want nothing more to do with you, and why our friendship meant so little that I was able to cut you off because we disagree about politics.

Honestly, back when we were kids, I never saw this coming.

Of course, the problem is your support of Donald Trump. Your worship of Donald Trump. You voted for Trump in 2016, and again in 2020. You've made excuses for every stupid, cruel thing he's done. You deny that he bears any responsibility for January 6th. You have posted on social media calling him a "great man" and saying "unfriend me if you don't agree."

Careful what you wish for. I've done exactly as you said.

You were shocked when you understood that we are no longer friends. You thought we could always disagree, and even argue, and our friendship would still last. Once upon a time, I'd have agreed with you. But not about this.

"But we can disagree about politics and still be friends!" you cried. "Don't let a little political difference of opinion destroy a good friendship!"

You don't get it.. This is not about politics. We're not in a disagreement about whether to put a stop sign on Linden Street. Trump has attacked and denied rights to women, people of color, LGBTQ+ people, and plenty of others. He has advocated violence if he doesn't get what he wants. He tried to overthrow the government in America's biggest temper tantrum. That's not just a silly little difference of opinion. That's fascism and unthinkable cruelty. We can't disagree on that and remain friends. You think it's okay to hurt people, and I don't.

I could easily disagree with you on chocolate or vanilla, regular or decaf, Star Wars or Star Trek. We could chat about that all day and still remain friends. But human rights? The end of our society? No. We can't disagree on that and still remain friends.

"But I can't believe we can't just talk this out!" you say.

I've noticed something. I notice that the only people who want to compromise are the Trumpers. You say you want to remain friends, but there's no middle ground to this discussion. Again, you still don't get it---By supporting Trump, you are okay with rape, criminal activity, treason, bigotry, and the destruction of our country. I stand against all of those things. And I can't respect or like anyone who is okay with all of that.

It's not about abstract politics. My son is black, my daughters are gay, my wife is female, and I am a journalist. My father had COVID. There is not a single member of my family that Trump has not attacked or hurt in some way. I'm not speaking figuratively here---After Trump called racists "fine people," Nazi flyers were posted on my street, where my black son plays. He has taken rights from women. At a Pride festival, people are worried that there will be violence. He has called for violence, including death, for journalists.

You don't---won't---understand that. Trump and his followers have made things more dangerous for my family, and you want to still be friends?

That's not going to happen. What you really want is blanket forgiveness. You want to support and admire his horrible behavior, and not suffer any consequences for it. You want me to tell you it's okay that you're hurting my family, but it's not, and I'm not going to pretend it is.

Trump may or may not ever face consequences for his choices. That's out of my control. But you are going to face at least one consequence---The loss of my friendship and respect.

You support a disgusting, reprehensible man. You're okay with hurting people and denying them their rights. And I can never agree with that, or respect it. And that's why you and I are no longer friends, and probably never will be again.