Three Terms, Infinite Stupidity

To nobody's surprise, President Dumbass has announced that he wants a third term. It's not really the first time he's floated this idea, or something like it: Early on in his first term, he was already making comments about being president for twenty years. Never mind that he's not legally allowed; Trump understands the Constitution about as well as he understands everything else. Trying to explain what's constitutional to Trump is a lot like trying to explain algebra to a raccoon.

He doesn't really want a third presidential term, of course. He and his supporters don't understand that, but that's not what he wants. He's not being a president as it is. What he really wants is to be king for life. Trump claims that he won the 2020 election, which, if true, would disqualify him from even serving this term. You can only serve two terms as president. Eight years. Legally, that's it.

Trump, who insists on topping himself every time an opportunity to act like a stupid asshole comes up, claims that there are "methods" by which he could have a third term. This isn't true, short of changing the Constitution, but Trump doesn't get that. He's under the impression that no matter what stupid shit he says, it magically becomes true, because he also doesn't really understand how reality works.

So, here are a few methods Trump might use to remain in office:

-Tell everyone that he's still president and hope they believe him.

-Grease himself up so nobody can get a grip to drag him out.

-Forget to have his mail forwarded, so he has to keep coming around all the time.

-Have a T-shirt made that says "THREE-TERM PRESIDENT" and wear it all the time.

-Wear a fake mustache and run for office as "Ronald Frump."

You laugh, but these make at least as much sense as anything he might come up with.

In all seriousness, no, there are not "methods" by which Trump may legally stay in office. Not that he cares about legality; he already tried to remain in office by siccing violent supporters on the Capitol once. But, no---The 22nd Amendment puts a firm two-term limit on the presidency.

So, no, Trump can't run for a third term and hope he wins. No, Vance can't run, win, and then give him the office---Among all the other things Trump doesn't understand is that the voters choose. The office of the president isn't something that anyone gets to hand out like a party favor. 

No, Trump can't run for vice-president, either, in the hopes that something might, you know, "happen" to J.D. Vance. In order to serve as vice-president, you have to be able to become president if necessary, and Trump can't. He's had his two terms; that's it.

Back when Biden was running, I saw some people suggest that he choose Obama as his running mate, proving that some Democrats didn't pay a whole lot of attention in social studies class, either. Once you get your two terms, you're done, that's it. Only someone who can potentially become president qualifies to run for vice-president. I stand more of a chance of becoming vice-president than either Trump or Obama.

Not that Trump, of course, understands any of this, or wants to be bothered with it. In the pile of rotting hamberders that passes for Trump's brain, he wants to be king, so that's what's going to happen. Factors like "legal," "constitutional," or "realistic" simply don't register with him.

And in the worst possible nightmare scenario, it could happen. Trump has made history before, and not in a good way. He's the first president to have been impeached more than once. He's the first president to be a convicted felon. And he's recently had the Declaration of Independence moved into the Oval Office, so I suspect he'll be the first president ever to get ketchup on it. I'd suggest he move the Constitution into his office on the off-chance he'll actually read it, but it's more likely he'll get ketchup all over that, too.