To My Former Friend

To my former friend....

We were friends as kids. A long time ago, we spent time together. We had fun, we bonded, and we swore that no matter what, we'd always be friends.

Now, you're sending me messages asking me why I've unfriended you on Facebook. You're asking me why I want nothing more to do with you, and why our friendship meant so little that I was able to cut you off because we disagree about politics.

Honestly, back when we were kids, I never saw this coming.

Of course, the problem is your support of Donald Trump. Your worship of Donald Trump. You voted for Trump in 2016, and again in 2020. You've made excuses for every stupid, cruel thing he's done. You deny that he bears any responsibility for January 6th. You have posted on social media calling him a "great man" and saying "unfriend me if you don't agree."

Careful what you wish for. I've done exactly as you said.

You were shocked when you understood that we are no longer friends. You thought we could always disagree, and even argue, and our friendship would still last. Once upon a time, I'd have agreed with you. But not about this.

"But we can disagree about politics and still be friends!" you cried. "Don't let a little political difference of opinion destroy a good friendship!"

You don't get it.. This is not about politics. We're not in a disagreement about whether to put a stop sign on Linden Street. Trump has attacked and denied rights to women, people of color, LGBTQ+ people, and plenty of others. He has advocated violence if he doesn't get what he wants. He tried to overthrow the government in America's biggest temper tantrum. That's not just a silly little difference of opinion. That's fascism and unthinkable cruelty. We can't disagree on that and remain friends. You think it's okay to hurt people, and I don't.

I could easily disagree with you on chocolate or vanilla, regular or decaf, Star Wars or Star Trek. We could chat about that all day and still remain friends. But human rights? The end of our society? No. We can't disagree on that and still remain friends.

"But I can't believe we can't just talk this out!" you say.

I've noticed something. I notice that the only people who want to compromise are the Trumpers. You say you want to remain friends, but there's no middle ground to this discussion. Again, you still don't get it---By supporting Trump, you are okay with rape, criminal activity, treason, bigotry, and the destruction of our country. I stand against all of those things. And I can't respect or like anyone who is okay with all of that.

It's not about abstract politics. My son is black, my daughters are gay, my wife is female, and I am a journalist. My father had COVID. There is not a single member of my family that Trump has not attacked or hurt in some way. I'm not speaking figuratively here---After Trump called racists "fine people," Nazi flyers were posted on my street, where my black son plays. He has taken rights from women. At a Pride festival, people are worried that there will be violence. He has called for violence, including death, for journalists.

You don't---won't---understand that. Trump and his followers have made things more dangerous for my family, and you want to still be friends?

That's not going to happen. What you really want is blanket forgiveness. You want to support and admire his horrible behavior, and not suffer any consequences for it. You want me to tell you it's okay that you're hurting my family, but it's not, and I'm not going to pretend it is.

Trump may or may not ever face consequences for his choices. That's out of my control. But you are going to face at least one consequence---The loss of my friendship and respect.

You support a disgusting, reprehensible man. You're okay with hurting people and denying them their rights. And I can never agree with that, or respect it. And that's why you and I are no longer friends, and probably never will be again.

A Roe By Any Other Name

It's the hypocrisy that pisses me off the most.

There's plenty to be angry about, with the reversal of Roe v. Wade, and I'm not even going to pretend I'm the angriest person I've seen today alone. But I'm plenty mad, along with millions of other people. The Supreme Court---Six incompetent, unqualified members specifically---Reversed the decision after fifty years, which will hurt plenty of people, and they've straight-up announced their intent to hurt more.

Oh, not people like them, of course. The conservative Jesus-thumpers aren't their targets. No, it's everyone else they're after---Everyone who doesn't conform to their narrow-minded beliefs.

That isn't how they're framing it, of course. They're not explaining this in terms of forcing everyone to follow their religion. No, they've given up pretending to be the good guys, but they still have a vague pretense about caring----They claim to be protecting babies and children.

And that's where my blood pressure spikes.

We have survived over twenty years of school shootings in this society, and the most honest response we've gotten is a shrug. If these same people truly cared, they'd jump on the school shootings the way they jumped on abortion, instead of muttering "Thoughts and prayers," dusting off their hands, and moving right along.

Pro-life, my ass. These people love their guns. They want guns available in vending machines. Killing is fine with them, as long as you do it on their terms---In other words, illegally with a rifle, not legally with a medical procedure.

The people cheering this decision aren't pro-life, either---Most of them have spent the past two years trying to get people, including babies, killed by not wearing a mask. If you ask them why, they'll say some nonsensical bullshit about freedoms. Except they don't really believe in freedoms, either---They're delighted that the freedom to choose has been taken away.

No, they're not pro-life, and they don't believe in freedom. The one and only freedom they really want is the freedom for them, specifically, to choose the beliefs of everyone else.

Let me sum this up for you. They believe in saving babies, but not from guns. They believe in the Constitution, but only beginning with the Second Amendment. They believe in freedom of religion, but only as long as you choose the one they approve of. Hell, they only even believe in freedom of speech inasmuch as it applies to them; they're not too concerned about letting anyone else have an opinion.

In fact, the one and only thing these assholes really, truly care about is forcing everyone in the country to follow their religion.

Does that make any sense to you?

Me neither. And that's why I'm so angry.

Take Back America

“I am concerned that the country is now being led by a man who is so obviously full of hate and insecurity. I am concerned that Trump seems to think he is a monarch, not a president. And I am very, very concerned at the ignorance and hatred that he seems to be stirring up.”
I wrote those words back in 2017, as Donald Trump took office. I wrote a note then, to express my feelings, to try and convey some of the fear I was feeling at the time. I was having trouble coming to terms with it then---A man had flat-out lied during his campaign, committed crimes and conflicts of interest, mocked a handicapped man, confessed to sexual assault, advocated violence against opponents, and still won, somehow. Still won the presidency. To this day, I cannot really comprehend how that happened.
With, what, about a month to the election, I’m writing again. I don’t really expect this to change anyone’s mind, not on Facebook, especially not after I’ve unfriended pretty much every Trump supporter I could click on. I started doing that a while ago, and then after the son of a bitch rigged his own impeachment hearings and evaded justice, I’d had it. Post so much as one “Keep America Great” and you’re off my friends list.
A lot of my former friends have complained to me about that. I’m sure you’re heard it---Some variation on “What, you’re unfriending me over a silly little difference of opinion?”
Oh, no. Not at all. We’re far past that now, and have been for quite a while. I’m unfriending people, but not over a minor difference of opinion. I still have friends who for some reason like decaf. I still have friends who haven’t seen Star Wars. I think both things are bizarre, but these people are still my friends.
But I won’t be friends with Nazis. I won’t be friends with people who admire a rapist. I won’t be friends with people who support a criminal. This isn’t a matter of opinion. This is about right and wrong. This is about my morality. I can’t, in good conscience, maintain any respect for someone who will tolerate this hateful, criminal, horrible behavior. Halloween is coming up, and I have to look in the mirror when it’s time to wash my makeup off.
That’s what the Trump supporters don’t---or won’t---understand. It’s not about a difference of opinion. It’s about them, cheering on a dangerous maniac as he hurts me, my family, my loved ones, people I care about.
Trump has shown no respect for anything. With every action, he demonstrates that he only cares about himself. His hardcore supporters do a marvelous job of gaslighting everyone else, or trying to---With every horrible thing Trump does, they’re right there, saying some foolish goddamn thing in an attempt to minimize the legitimate fears of decent people.
“Trump could find a cure for cancer, and you’d still criticize him!” Well, yes. Because he’s still a rapist, a criminal, a cruel bully who shows no respect for the Constitution. If somehow he manages to accomplish one good thing, it doesn’t change any of that. Also, a cure for cancer would pretty much consist of Trump advocating not testing for it, which is a thing he has repeatedly said about COVID. Among all his other horrible qualities, Trump has roughly the IQ of a crumpled Post-It note.
“Trump didn’t cause COVID!” You hear that one a lot. In an effort to completely miss the point, the Trumpers have used that as a rallying cry. Of course he didn’t cause it. I don’t know one rational person who has claimed he did. What he did do was to ignore the problem until it got too far out of control to handle. Why would he do such a breathtakingly stupid thing? For his own benefit, of course. To make himself look good. His efforts at bullshit self-promotion have cost thousands of lives, and HE IS STILL DOING IT.
It’s hard to pick one single thing about Trump that I like the least---There’s so much to choose from. But that might be it, right there---His view that reality somehow bends to his will. If he wants something to happen, he claims that it’s happened. If he wants to look good, he claims he’s done good things. Never mind the truth, never mind what’s actually occurring. Without any attempt at growth, introspection, or competence, Trump lies, knowing that a certain segment of the population will blindly believe him.
I’ve seen a lot of Trump supporters flying his banners alongside the American flag, which is disturbing as hell. Trump, with his constant campaigning and disregard for policy or tradition, has blurred the lines of what’s appropriate, and now the Trump fans seem to think the flag represents their half-wit bully. I suspect you’re not seeing the same amount of flags flown by Democrats because they’re not too proud of how things are going in America right now. And it’s terrible, it’s a shame, that the American flag is coming to be a symbol of hate.
The Trumpers would have you believe that this is business as usual, just a president who is unpopular with half the country, like most of them are. That’s not true. I couldn’t stand Bush, and hated a lot of his decisions, which now seems quaint. But I knew that all I had to do was make it through four years, maybe eight, and we’d get someone else. I have no such assurances with Trump. He’s been making comments about exceeding the Constitutional term limits since he took office, and he’s not even trying to hide it anymore. He isn’t even trying to pretend it’s a joke. In a rare burst of truth, he’s stated that he wants to serve twelve years, twenty years, more. He openly wants to take over, become the first American dictator.
Actually, “serve” isn’t really the right word, is it? It suggests a president doing things for the American people. Donald Trump serves no one but himself.
And that is why I’m no longer friends with a lot of people I thought I respected. Because they refuse to see the damage this man is doing. At best, I’m disappointed in anyone who admires Donald Trump. At worst, I now see them for what they really are. You can’t admire a criminal racist and still keep your distance---If you still, after all this, are voting for Donald Trump, then own it. You’re working to keep a dictator in office, to put a rapist, a criminal, a hateful white supremacist in charge.
Last time around, when I wrote about Trump, I ended with the hope that next time around, we’d do better. That enough good people would stand up and vote him out, and this horrible chapter in our history could begin to close.
Now’s our chance.
Let’s do this.

Who Was That Masked Man?

Needed milk earlier. Had to run out to the store. And I saw some people also running errands, still wearing their masks, even though Clinton County has gone green and the stay-at-home order ended last month. So, to all you people wearing masks, I have one thing to say.
Thank you. And congratulations on not being a grade-A prize asshole.
To the rest of you, without masks, maybe you think you’re safe because you have your head up your ass. Just so you’re aware, the CDC has not verified that.
If the language I’m using sounds a little harsh for me on Facebook, it’s because I’m feeling a little harsh about this. My message is nothing that hasn’t been said a thousand times, but somehow, the message doesn’t seem to quite sink in: PUT A MASK ON AND DO YOUR PART, YOU ASSHOLES.
I used to believe that people, in general, were intelligent and good. I still want to believe that, but man, my faith is taking a hit lately. We have people who should know better running around risking everyone’s lives, and people I thought I respected saying the most dumb-ass things I have heard since the president suggested we drink detergent. Here in Clinton County, we have a politician running around taking photos of herself risking lives while she campaigns to impeach the guy who is trying to save them. And personally I am about ready to stick my head in the oven at this point. Except it’s electric. And we have an element broken.
The situation is dripping with irony much like the maskless are dripping with Coronavirus. Most of these people have been desperate for a national crisis of some kind for years. I’ve seen some of these same people insist they need to have serious military weaponry because they might need it when there is an apocalypse. Over the past few months, we have basically had an apocalypse, and now they won’t cooperate because they didn’t get to shoot anyone. All this crisis requires is for people to cooperate and be considerate of one another, and it turns out that these preppers are incapable of that.
“Can’t live in fear,” they say.
Of course we can. I live in fear of car accidents every day, and therefore I cross the street carefully. We all live in fear of fire, and buy smoke detectors accordingly. Quit acting as if you’re doing something courageous because your hair got a little longer than you’d like.
“Okay, then, you have a right to wear a mask,” they say. “But you don’t get to make that choice for me. It’s my life to risk.”
Oh, if only it worked that way. If only you were only risking your own life. I wouldn’t mind it so much then. If life was like that, we could let drunk drivers kill themselves and solve our DUI problem overnight. That’s called Natural Selection. But when you don’t wear a mask, you’re risking your life, and my life, and my family’s life, and everyone else’s. That’s not a choice you get to make.
“But my freedoms---”
Screw your freedoms. I hate to be the one to tell you this, Rambo, but your freedoms will do you no good if you are dead.
That’s what society is. Everyone cooperating, doing their part for the common good, even in a crisis. Hell, especially in a crisis. And one more note here, on a local level.
I’ve written a thousand articles on local history. And let me tell you something: People will remember. We still remember who the heroes were in the 1972 flood. Hell, we still remember who they were in the 1936 flood. People remember who did the right thing and who didn’t.
Half a century later, people remember who pitched in and helped during a crisis, and who acted like a complete asshole. I hear it all the time. So we’re going to remember who did their part to solve the problem, and who became a whiner at the thought of wearing a mask for ten minutes. Everyone will remember who stepped up and who didn’t.
So if you’re wearing a mask and being cautious, good for you. You’re smart and I respect you. If you’re refusing, I’d suggest you shut up and put on a mask. And you might want to consider growing up while you’re at it.

No Thoughts, No Prayers

Okay, a message to all our lawmakers, politicians, and elected leaders:
Just shut up.
Enough already. Just shut up.
We’ve just had another tragic shooting, and I’m not even going to bother to count how many this makes this year. Any number I write would be outdated by the time I’m finished writing this, anyway---It’s an uncommon day when we don’t have gun violence anymore. We, the American people, are dying. We’re hurt and afraid, and we’re sick of it. We want you, our elected officials, to do something about it.
It’s very much a multi-faceted problem, I get that. Is it a gun problem? Then do something about guns. Is it a mental health problem? Then do something about mental health. But for crying out loud, do SOMETHING already.
Do something. Don’t SAY something. Don’t run to Twitter. Don’t hold a press conference. Don’t issue a statement. Because we’ve heard it all before. You have nothing new to say, and we’re tired of it.
Don’t tell us your thoughts and prayers are with us. We don’t care. Because, and I never thought I’d have to explain this, your thoughts and prayers aren’t accomplishing a damn thing. Do something. Help us.
As of the most recent shooting, most of you seem to realize how useless your thoughts and prayers are. But you’re still not doing anything. Most of you seem to have leaped into action, run for the thesaurus, and looked up some other way to phrase “Thoughts and prayers.”
It’s useless. Stop being useless. Last night, I went and re-watched the BoJack Horseman episode “Thoughts And Prayers” because every article I read about the shooting referenced it. In the episode, mass shootings are happening every couple of minutes, and people continue to glorify gun violence while murmuring “Thoughts and prayers” uselessly. The episode looks at causes of the problem, while revealing the hypocrisy of our society.
Are you getting this, lawmakers? A freaking CARTOON is doing a better job of examining the situation than you are.
Your thoughts and prayers are useless. So are your condolences, sympathies, or any other way you might find to express this concept. Stop saying things. Enough useless platitudes. Do something.
Draft better gun laws. Allocate more money for mental health training. Refuse to take any NRA donations. Practically anything is better than the way you’re handling this now.
Just do something.
And if you’re not going to do something, then at least shut up.

The Home Alone "Family"

Not too long ago, my daughter introduced my son to “Home Alone.” It’s a holiday classic, albeit one that I’ve never been fond of. I’ve never liked that movie, though since my four-year-old has discovered it, I have now seen it about 347 times.
I recently noticed something about the movie, however, that makes me like it better. I’ve figured out what Kevin’s father’s job is.
Kevin’s dad is a mobster.
You heard me. In “Home Alone,” Kevin’s father is an actual Godfather. It’s the only explanation that makes sense.
Let’s start from the very beginning: Seriously, what could this guy possibly be doing for a living? He can afford that huge mansion, plus a French vacation for the entire extended family, plus over a hundred bucks for pizza, and that’s just what we see in the first five minutes. Clearly, the family is not hurting for money.
They also live in Chicago, a city not exactly known for its avoidance of mobsters. I’ve been to Chicago, and I actually quite like the place. But judging from the movies I’ve seen, roughly 118% of Chicago is populated by the Mafia. (One percent is Dick Tracy.) So he is wealthy in Chicago, which is already suspicious.
As Joe Pesci impersonates a cop---Another big red flag, and we’re not even ten minutes into the movie---The first thing Kevin’s dad says is “Am I under arrest?” This is not a question that an innocent man leads with. If you haven’t committed a crime, you ask if there’s a problem, or how you can help the officer, or what’s going on. The fact that Kevin’s father jumps to that question immediately tells me a lot about his activities.
Kevin McCallister (clearly, this is the Irish Mob) shows something of an unnatural interest in the Mafia himself. Left alone, pining for his family, the one movie we see him view is an old mobster movie. He watches it repeatedly, likely because it reminds him of his dad. He even uses it to scare an innocent pizza delivery guy midway through the film.
This theory actually clears up a problem I’ve always had with this movie. The pizza guy runs for his life, thinking he’s been shot at. How are the police not storming the place five minutes later? I’ve always wondered that, but now I get it. Either the pizza guy knows who owns the house, and was too afraid to report the crime, or he did report it, and the cops have been bribed to stay away.
Kevin, having gotten some glimpse of his dad’s activities over the years, has learned a bit. He may not know all the details, but he has no problem being ruthlessly violent with his enemies. He uses broken glass, blowtorches, and red-hot metal on them, which is not something your average kid thinks to do. Not unless he’s somehow been exposed to that sort of violence, maybe hearing some discussions with a few henchmen when his dad thought he wasn’t listening.
And at the very end, when Kevin’s father finds the gold tooth on the floor, take a good, long look at the expression on his face. Clearly, he is interpreting this as some sort of warning. That guy is wondering when they’re going to escalate to horse heads.
Say what you will, you can’t deny that this explains a lot. I’m assuming there’s a deleted scene where, out of retaliation, Harry and Marv get shanked in prison.

My America

Like much of America---I’d like to think most of America---I was shocked in November, when Donald Trump won the presidency. I just couldn’t wrap my head around it---A man who had confessed to felonies while campaigning, a man who incited violent behavior, a man who showed open bigotry, a man who mocked the handicapped...This man was our president. Of the United States.
I am not as comfortable in America as I was. I’ve been trying to come to terms with that for the last couple of months. Throughout the whole campaign, I wasn’t concerned. I would never have voted for Donald Trump, because he was so obviously, clearly against everything I stand for. I believed in America; I believed in the system. I was stunned when that let me down---And, yes, I do understand that I was seeing things through the perspective of a middle-aged white straight male. I’ve given it a lot of thought, and while I still love my country, I am getting more adept at seeing some of the flaws in it now. I’m disappointed in America.
And, yes, he is my president. I don’t like it, but that’s how America works. Saying “Not my president” doesn’t change the fact---The Constitution says he is, and as an American citizen, I am bound by that. And so is he. That’s actually the great thing about America---The law of the land isn’t a guy in an office; it’s that document. And the Constitution that says Trump is my president is the same one that says I get the chance to vote him out in a couple of years. And believe me, I will try my damnedest.
But I am concerned. I am concerned that the country is now being led by a man who is so obviously full of hate and insecurity. I am concerned that Trump seems to think he is a monarch, not a president. And I am very, very concerned at the ignorance and hatred that he seems to be stirring up.
And, most of all, I am concerned for my son.
Paul Matthew is two years old. He is adopted, and he is black. I worry for him; I worry for his opportunities under this administration. I worry because Trump is putting literal white supremacists in his cabinet. This is not an exaggeration or a figure of speech; it is simply the truth.
So don’t tell me to give Trump a chance. He’s already had one, and he’s already blown it.
This is not about how my candidate lost. In truth, there was no “my candidate” this election. I genuinely didn’t like any of them very much. When the time came, I cast my vote for Hillary, but really I cast my vote for “Not Trump.” Hillary was the one I hated the least. But I could have lived with Sanders. I could have lived with Johnson, in spite of the fact that he seemed to be running his entire campaign while high. I could have lived with many other candidates. My feelings are not about how my candidate lost---My candidate lost in 2000, and I hated Bush, but I didn’t feel this kind of fear.
My son, several of my relatives, and many of my friends are black. Some are Hispanic. I have many friends who are gay or trans. And I am worried for them, worried about the hatred that our incoming president seems to revel in.
For that matter, I am a member of the media, technically. As a freelance writer, I identify strongly with the press. I am aware that nobody is likely to stop me from writing about my county’s history, but I stand with the press. I am concerned that Trump does not take well to criticism, and that his immediate response is to threaten to block the press.
So what, exactly, am I supposed to give Trump a chance to do? Damage freedom of the press? Normalize racism? Incite hate speech and behavior? Because those are the actions I am seeing from him.
I am tired of hearing that friends can disagree politically, but still remain friends. That’s true, but this goes way beyond that. This man has committed sexual assault. He has spewed his racist hatred. He has threatened fundamental changes to our society. If you think all of this is okay, I’m not sure I want you as a friend.
Here’s the thing, Trump supporters: You made a statement with your vote. You may have voted for Trump because you wanted change. I thought we didn’t have to specify it had to be a change for the better, but maybe we weren’t clear enough on that point. You may have voted for Trump because you want more jobs---Though I’m not sure why you’d think a man with solid-gold toilets in his penthouse can relate to you as a worker. You may have voted for Trump because of the economy, or security, or health care....Whatever. It doesn’t matter. Your vote is your own. I respect that.
But with your vote, you made a statement. You made the statement that whatever your concern is, it is more important than the safety and well-being of my child.
If that’s how you feel, we aren’t friends.
Maybe you were fooled by his rhetoric. Maybe you just couldn’t bring yourself to vote for one of the other candidates. I can appreciate that---As I said, I respect your right to vote as you choose.
But if you’re not getting a sinking feeling by now, you’re willfully ignoring a lot.
Trump has put literal Nazis in his cabinet. He has threatened to violate the Constitution. Before he even took office, he had piled up conflicts of interest. And he seems to see nothing wrong with this. Instead, he demonstrates that he is so insecure, he has to rush to Twitter to dispute any celebrity who dares criticize him.
So I am concerned.
I am cheered by the fact that most of my friends share my concern. It makes me feel better than most Americans feel about the way I do. And I am going to spend the next four years watching, paying attention, and ready to protest. I am going to be offended at my president when he says or does offensive things. And I will say so---Which is my right, under my Constitution.
I’ll do all this for my son.
And I will do everything I can to stand up for my beliefs, in the hopes that America does it better next time around.